Circles and Circles

I am mostly writing this because I need to vent and I don’t think it’s proper to Facebook vent about this, so I will write it here and THEN link it to my Facebook! (Classy I know…)

I feel like I am going in circles and circles with certain people in my life and it’s starting to frustrate me. I feel taken advantage of on a regular basis yet I still continue to be nice and do everything for certain people! I know it’s a personal problem but how do I stop myself from being kind and open!?

I’ve done numerous things for specific individuals and get hardly any thanks in return, if any at all…. Like I said before, maybe it’s me and I just need to learn how to step back and say “Hey… I’m not going to do this anymore..”

We’ve all been there, caring for someone when they didn’t care the same way for us… doing nice things… stepping out on a limb…. WISHING AND HOPING that maybe a realization would set in that you are just wasting your time… OR maybe a positive note like THEY realize they shouldn’t take for granted what is right in front of them!!

After saying all this… it’s safe to say younger guys are frustrating and mildly selfish… (in my opinion… so don’t yell at me for assuming they are all the same) and this is why I’ve always told my mom I will end up with someone at LEAST 5 years older than me! Preferably 10! I’m real and I’m serious… I have a lot of love to give but have obviously been wasting it! I need to change that!

It’s hard to slow down and realize that you won’t be good enough for the person you were hoping to be good enough for! And I guess that is where it ends… you have to move on and keep smiling and be HAPPY and thankful for this life!

I need some coffee, and some zen, and some me time, and a little less caring about people who don’t care about me!!

(apologies for terrible grammar and a lot of “and’s”

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Relationship Race

You Can't Hurry Love

You Can’t Hurry Love (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

 

“You can’t hurry love, no you just have to wait, she said ‘love don’t come easy, it’s a game of give and take.'”

Relationships come and go, people change, people move on, and the world continues to rotate. But there comes that one relationship, where things just stick, happiness is found, and you just know it’s right. Etta James “At last, my love has come along, my lonely days are over and my life is like a song…”

I was raised in a very small town, where everyone knows everyone, and absolutely nothing can be kept personal. A small graduating class of about 65 led to many close relationships, and many marriages soon after high school was put behind us. I’m 20 and I have friends MARRIED! WITH KIDS! What?!

It’s crazy to think about… life doesn’t slow down for anyone. You can plead, cry, or just celebrate, but life doesn’t take orders from anyone. Its motto is to just keep chugging along, picking some up on the way, and dropping others off as well. Some eager to grow up and some just wanting to be young again; some just caught in the middle trying to find purpose.

No one ever told us to race to the finish line, to be the first to get married, the first to fall in love, the first to have a child, the first to succeed. So why do I still feel like it’s all just a game? A game to see who can accomplish the most in the smallest amount of time? Maybe I am not the typical “thinker” but I just sit from the sidelines watching the race go on around me… I am a spectator, among many others I am sure, just trying to find their purpose.

I’m slowly and patiently awaiting my purpose, where I am supposed to be, who I am supposed to meet, and who I am supposed to spend my life with. No race here. Maybe I have an idea of “who” that should be next to me, maybe I daydream about the future. No harm done. I’ve always been in love with the idea of being “in love,” and I will continue to be in love with that idea. I’ve set standards for myself to know when it feels right, when I should let someone into my personal life. You’ll have that feeling, a feeling that you never want to lose, and that my friends, is when you hold on tight and never let go. Until then, wait it out, time heals everything in the end, and let yourself experience beautiful things along the way! You are the master of your own fate and the captain of your soul.

What are you searching for? Waiting for?