Circles and Circles

I am mostly writing this because I need to vent and I don’t think it’s proper to Facebook vent about this, so I will write it here and THEN link it to my Facebook! (Classy I know…)

I feel like I am going in circles and circles with certain people in my life and it’s starting to frustrate me. I feel taken advantage of on a regular basis yet I still continue to be nice and do everything for certain people! I know it’s a personal problem but how do I stop myself from being kind and open!?

I’ve done numerous things for specific individuals and get hardly any thanks in return, if any at all…. Like I said before, maybe it’s me and I just need to learn how to step back and say “Hey… I’m not going to do this anymore..”

We’ve all been there, caring for someone when they didn’t care the same way for us… doing nice things… stepping out on a limb…. WISHING AND HOPING that maybe a realization would set in that you are just wasting your time… OR maybe a positive note like THEY realize they shouldn’t take for granted what is right in front of them!!

After saying all this… it’s safe to say younger guys are frustrating and mildly selfish… (in my opinion… so don’t yell at me for assuming they are all the same) and this is why I’ve always told my mom I will end up with someone at LEAST 5 years older than me! Preferably 10! I’m real and I’m serious… I have a lot of love to give but have obviously been wasting it! I need to change that!

It’s hard to slow down and realize that you won’t be good enough for the person you were hoping to be good enough for! And I guess that is where it ends… you have to move on and keep smiling and be HAPPY and thankful for this life!

I need some coffee, and some zen, and some me time, and a little less caring about people who don’t care about me!!

(apologies for terrible grammar and a lot of “and’s”

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Relationship Race

You Can't Hurry Love

You Can’t Hurry Love (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

 

“You can’t hurry love, no you just have to wait, she said ‘love don’t come easy, it’s a game of give and take.'”

Relationships come and go, people change, people move on, and the world continues to rotate. But there comes that one relationship, where things just stick, happiness is found, and you just know it’s right. Etta James “At last, my love has come along, my lonely days are over and my life is like a song…”

I was raised in a very small town, where everyone knows everyone, and absolutely nothing can be kept personal. A small graduating class of about 65 led to many close relationships, and many marriages soon after high school was put behind us. I’m 20 and I have friends MARRIED! WITH KIDS! What?!

It’s crazy to think about… life doesn’t slow down for anyone. You can plead, cry, or just celebrate, but life doesn’t take orders from anyone. Its motto is to just keep chugging along, picking some up on the way, and dropping others off as well. Some eager to grow up and some just wanting to be young again; some just caught in the middle trying to find purpose.

No one ever told us to race to the finish line, to be the first to get married, the first to fall in love, the first to have a child, the first to succeed. So why do I still feel like it’s all just a game? A game to see who can accomplish the most in the smallest amount of time? Maybe I am not the typical “thinker” but I just sit from the sidelines watching the race go on around me… I am a spectator, among many others I am sure, just trying to find their purpose.

I’m slowly and patiently awaiting my purpose, where I am supposed to be, who I am supposed to meet, and who I am supposed to spend my life with. No race here. Maybe I have an idea of “who” that should be next to me, maybe I daydream about the future. No harm done. I’ve always been in love with the idea of being “in love,” and I will continue to be in love with that idea. I’ve set standards for myself to know when it feels right, when I should let someone into my personal life. You’ll have that feeling, a feeling that you never want to lose, and that my friends, is when you hold on tight and never let go. Until then, wait it out, time heals everything in the end, and let yourself experience beautiful things along the way! You are the master of your own fate and the captain of your soul.

What are you searching for? Waiting for?

Steps to Becoming a Happier Person

Happiness is a choice

Often times we go through life, shifting through the motions but feeling like there is something missing: our happiness. Someone once told me, “Avery, happiness is a choice,” in which I laughed and went on with my usual business. I had always been in the mindset that my happiness was out of my control and that in order for my happiness to be at an all time high in my life, good things needed to happen. Bad things happen to bad people, bad things happen to good people; bad things happen. Of course, I thought if bad things happened, there is no way happiness could survive and thrive in such a tragic place. I can openly admit that I was very wrong.

What I’ve learned in my life so far is that I can control my happiness, and make the best out of even the most terrible situations. As an individual, I am able to surround myself with people, places, and objects that are going to make me feel and act better. Happiness is a very important aspect in our lives and the relationships that we form. I now look back on the advice I was given, and I do believe happiness is a choice. It may be a hard one to make at times, but it is the most rewarding in the long run.

So, if happiness is a choice, you may be wondering what actions you should take in order to bring your happiness to an all time high.

1. Choose to be happy.
This is the most important step! You must take the initial step to being a happier person and that is making the choice to be happy. It is not true that you are stuck in a spot of happiness in which you are not able to move. It is possible to boost your emotions and feel better!

2. Learn forgiveness.
There is nothing worse than holding a grudge and continuing to water the deep seed of bitterness that you have planted in your heart. In order to achieve ultimate happiness, you must let go of any anger and bitterness you have been holding on to. This is an opportunity to break the chains and it can ultimately be a very freeing experience if you let it.

3. Neutralize negativity.
By minimizing the negative thoughts in your life you can lead a happier life. Your thoughts are what control your behavior in life, and when they are all negative, you are bound to be unhappy in everything you do. When choosing positive thoughts and actions, happiness is right around the corner.

4. Build relationships.
By building positive relationships in your life, you can achieve the happiness you’ve always wanted. Whether these are friendships, work relationships, or romantic relationships, surrounding yourself with positive people in your life will be very rewarding.

In retrospect, happiness has always been a choice and by following some guidelines you can significantly improve your life! It all depends on the motivation you hold and the power of positive thinking!

Replace “fear of the unknown” with curiosity…

fear of the unknown

“Our fears are more numerous than our dangers, and we suffer more in our imagination than in reality.” – Seneca

Fear is a powerful human emotion that keeps some from taking chances in life that will be extremely beneficial. When we perceive something as “dangerous” our idea of fear takes the leading position in the actions and choices we make. Though this may be helpful in some instances, what our mind may perceive as dangerous doesn’t actually mean it’s physically harmful. While fear is a common survival mechanism, it’s also a demon that can bring you down when you have no trust.

Fear is a personal battle in my life because it has completely pushed me away in the past from what I desperately needed the most. I spent too long thinking about the negative results that could surface if I let a certain person into my life. Instead of looking at the positive aspects, the future, and the happiness that could surround my life, I focused all my attention on the “what ifs?” I plagued my mind with being hurt, used, and betrayed even though deep in my heart I knew this person wouldn’t treat me like that.

Fear is attached to other emotions and memories that you may have experienced in the past, which is what led me to push myself away from the positive in my life due to my fear that things could end wrong… I could be hurt… I could be lost. Trust was the huge missing piece to why I let fear take over my mind; I HAD NONE.

It was only about 4 weeks ago that I realized what I had been pushing into the dark abyss of mind in order to keep from thinking about it… love drives out fear. I was constantly grasping for things and people I could not reach because fear kept me from taking that small extra step. Once I took it, and drove fear out by letting love in I was living in a totally different world.

Fear was the prison that led my heart to believe there was no hope. Now that’s a sorry and sad thought. My heart, which has always been ready to love unconditionally was rattling the chains on the door of fear, wanting out but too blind to see the key was right there.

Life is always full of uncertainty and that cannot stop us from loving and simply existing.

Here the world spins, people live, move, breathe, love, die. Beautiful and terrible things will happen here. Do not be afraid.